Category: Heritage

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St Beuno and a Poem to the Vagina April 20th


Drawing of a Stained glass window depicting Saint Beuno. D A R C 12345 – Own work

Today is St Beuno’s Day. St Beuno is also known as St Bono. He was an 8th Century Welsh Abbot of some power. The grandson of a prince of Powys in Wales who was descended from Vortigern. (see my post on Vortigern here.) Vortigern was a predecessor to King Arthur. Beuno was educated in Bangor Monastery, one of the foremost Celtic monasteries in Wales. During his ministry he restored 7 dead people to life including St Winifred (or Winefred).

Winifred & St Beuno

St Winifred’s Holywell, from Facebook.

She was Beuno’s niece, a virgin who refused the advances of a certain Caradog. Furious at her taking vows, Caradog tried to seduce her, but she refused. So, he chopped her head off.

Where her head landed a spring sprung amd became a holy spring.  The spot, in Flintshire is still called Holywell. It has been described as the Lourdes of Wales and one of my tours go past it that is how I heard about St Beuno.

Anyway the story goes that Beuno put his niece’s head back on her shoulders and restored her to life. How he did that, is a mystery.

From Facebook

She lived a full life with a brilliant Church career. Of course she is the patron of those who have suffered unwanted advances (but believe me there are many other candidates for that particular honour amongst the female Saints! Have a look at my post on St Agatha for another example of male sexual abuse.

Stained glass depiction of St Winifred, designed by William Burges, at Castell Coch, Cardiff. Wikipedia Hchc2009 – Own work

More on St Winefride’s on her feast day on 3rd November.

Medieval Powys, & Neglected Parts of the Female Anatomy

I drafted this in January, when I came across a reference to St Beuno in a fabulous exhibition at the British Library.  The show was called ‘Medieval Women – In their own Words’.

On display amongst the many wonderful manuscripts and books of the 11th – 15th Century was a Welsh poem.  The author was Gwerful Mechain (1460–1502), the only female medieval Welsh poet with a surviving and a substantial body of work. She is known for her erotic poetry, in which she praised the vulva among other things.

What is extraordinary is that I should, by complete chance, be publishing this the day after posting about the statue of the erect Minotaur! So, you can see how even-handed I am?

Here it is in full, in a modern translation:

To the Vagina by Gwerful Mechain

Every poet, drunken fool
Thinks he’s just the king of cool,
(Every one is such a boor,
He makes me sick, I’m so demure),
He always declaims fruitless praise
Of all the girls in his male gaze.
He’s at it all day long, by God,
Omitting the best bit, silly sod:
He praises the hair, gown of fine love,
And all the girl’s bits up above,
Even lower down he praises merrily
The eyes which glance so sexily;
Daring more, he extols the lovely shape
Of the soft breasts which leave him all agape,
And the beauty’s arms, bright drape,
Even her perfect hands do not escape.
Then with his finest magic
Before night falls, it’s tragic,
He pays homage to God’s might,
An empty eulogy: it’s not quite right:
For he’s left the girl’s middle unpraised,
That place where children are upraised,
The warm bright quim he does not sing,
That tender, plump, pulsating broken ring,
That’s the place I love, the place I bless,
The hidden quim below the dress.
You female body, you’re strong and fair,
A faultless, fleshy court plumed with hair.
I proclaim that the quim is fine,
Circle of broad-edged lips divine,
It’s a valley, longer than a spoon or hand,
A cwm to hold a penis strong and grand;
A vagina there by the swelling bum,
Two lines of red to song must come.
And the churchmen all, the radiant saints,
When they get the chance, have no restraints,
They never fail their chance to steal,
By Saint Beuno, to give it a good feel.
So I hope you feel well and truly told off,
All you proud male poets, you dare not scoff,
Let songs to the quim grow and thrive
Find their due reward and survive.
For it is silky soft, the sultan of an ode,
A little seam, a curtain on a hole bestowed,
Neat flaps in a place of meeting,
The sour grove, circle of greeting,
Superb forest, faultless gift to squeeze,
Fur for a fine pair of balls, tender frieze,
A girl’s thick glade, it is full of love,
Lovely bush, blessed be it by God above.

From: Gramich, Katie, Orality and Morality: Early Welsh Women’s Poetry, 2005, Cardiff University: Cardiff, pp. 8-9.
(http://www2.lingue.unibo.it/acume/acumedvd/Essays%20ACUME/AcumeGramichfinal.pdf)

Date: c1480 (original in Welsh); 2003 (translation in English) By: Gwerful Mechain (1462-1500) Translated by: Katie Gramich

For more about St Beuno https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beuno

First published on April 20th 2025

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Murder of St Alphage April 19th 1012

St Alphage. Church Tower on right, City Wall to left. Photo K Flude

I first came across St Alphage when I was working at the Museum of London. The Museum was built on the High Walk at London Wall. The raised Courbusian Walkway looked down on a ruin of a Gothic Church Tower, almost destroyed during the Blitz. This was St Alphage, a Church dedicated to the Saxon Archbishop of Canterbury. (Alphage is also spelt Alphege or Alfege).

On the other side of the Walkway was the old graveyard of the Church. This preserved one of the very best sections of the old London Wall. Special because on one side its huge height was displayed. On the other, the only crenelated bit of the City Wall. And the only surviving part of the Wall dating to the War of the Roses.

St Alphage Roman and Medieval Wall
St Alphage Roman and Medieval Wall
The Crenelated Red Brick Section dates to 1477, during the War of the Roses
The Crennelated Red Brick Section dates to 1477, during the War of the Roses
St Alphage Wall explained in an information plaque.
St Alphage Wall explained on an information plaque.

In the 1980’s fellow Museum of London Archaeologist, Paul Herbert and I set up a Guided Walks company (Citisights of London) . Our walks started from outside the Museum of London, and so St Alphage formed a big part of our success. It led to a life giving Guided Walks and tours. So, St Alphage, thank you!

A Citisights Day Tour of the 1980s

St Alphage Elsyng Spittle St Mary ?

The Church was previously a monastic settlement called Elsyng Spittle (aka St Mary within Cripplegate). The Augustinian Canons looked after 100 blind men. It was refounded by Williain Elsing, and dissolved by Henry VIII in 1536. The Church was kept for a Parish Church. But the Puritans were not keen on dedications to St Mary. So, they renamed it after a London based Christian Martyr.

It remained a Parish Church until damaged in an air raid in World War One. (possibly on 8th September 1916 in a Zeppelin Raid – but I am speculating). The Church was partly demolished in 1923, leaving the Tower. The lower part of the Medieval Tower survived bombing in the Blitz. At 12.15 am on 25th Aug 1940, the first bombs on the City of London fell nearby in Fore Street. But the tower was hit in 1940. It was listed Grade 1 in 1950. Kept by the rebuilding of London Wall, and the Barbican area. Then substantially benefitting from a remodelling of the area in an excellent scheme of 2022.

St Ælfheah of Canterbury and Greenwich

StAlfege Greewich - Doyle own work Wikipedia CC BY-SA 4.0
StAlfege Greewich – Doyle own work Wikipedia CC BY-SA 4.0

St Ælfheah was captured during a Viking attack on Canterbury. The Viking hoard relocated to Greenwich where they tried to negotiate a fat ransom for him. He was one of the richest men in the Kingdom. This is what the Anglo Saxon Chronicle says:

.. the raiding-army became much stirred up against the bishop, because he did not want to offer them any money, and forbade that anything might be granted in return for him. Also they were very drunk, because there was wine brought from the south. Then they seized the bishop, led him to their “hustings” on the Saturday in the octave of Easter, and then pelted him there with bones and the heads of cattle; and one of them struck him on the head with the butt of an axe, so that with the blow he sank down and his holy blood fell on the earth, and sent forth his holy soul to God’s kingdom.

St Alfege Greenwich, which is now a lovely Hawksmoor Church is said to be on the site of St Ælfheah‘s death.

St Alphage’s body was taken to St Pauls Cathedral where it was venerated. His remains were removed in suspicious circumstances by soldiers of King Cnut who translated the Saint’s bones to Greenwich. It is suggested King Cnut was punishing London for their opposition to him.

The Minotaur by Michael Ayrton

Also, part of the experience of visiting St Alphage from the High Walk was the statue of the Minotaur. I first came across this phallic Bull in the Postman’s Park and am very fond of it. Then it disappeared and reappeared on the High Walk. Now it is on the ground level near in the garden of St Alphage.

I understand that Michael Ayrton wanted to make a point about the destruction of London. He felt that the developers were more destructive than the Luftwaffe. They were like a Bull in a China Shop! So he created this statue of a very vigorous Bull representing the Minotaur. It is a very unusual work of art in that it sports a fully erect penis. Art History is full of naked women, but the male organ is largely left to pornography. For more about Ayrton follow this link.

The Minotaur in its present position
The Minotaur on the High Walk

First Written on April 19th 2025

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Canterbury Pilgrimage April 18th

Pilgrims leaving the Tabard for the Canterbury Pilgrimage
Pilgrims leaving the Tabard for the Canterbury Pilgrimage

Canterbury Pilgrimage

Tonight, I am leading  my annual Canterbury Tales Virtual Pilgrimage.  This is the day Chaucer’s pilgrims leave London to ride to Canterbury. (For more details or to book look here.)

At the beginning of the prologue, Chaucer gives clues as to the date. They go when April showers and Zephyrus’s wind is causing sap to rise in plants, engendering flowers. It is also when Aries course across the sky is half run.

The pilgrims are accompanied by Harry Bailly who is the landlord of the Tabard Inn in Southwark. He was a real person and a fellow Member of Parliament of Chaucer.

He is jolly and quite knowledgeable. In the Man of Law’s prologue we get a glimpse of Harry time telling in the days before clocks.

a mass clock at Steventon
A mass clock at Steventon Church. Hampshire

Telling the Time

Chaucer mentions ‘artificial day’ and this is a reference to the way days were divided into hours. There were twelve hours in the daylight part of the day, and twelve hours in the dark night. So in the winter daylight hours were short, and in the summer long.

Romans used water clocks. King Alfred used candles marked into hours. Harry Bailly knows how to tell the time by the height of the Sun. Harry tells the pilgrims it’s about time they got underway. Here is an extract:

Essentially, he is telling the time by the length of the shadows. The illustration of the mass clock at Jane Austen’s Church at Steventon shows how easy it was to tell the time by the sun.

The first mass clock I noticed was at St James’ Cooling in Kent. Dickens used this in Great Expectations, where Pip’s brothers and sisters were buried. Once you find one mass clock, you suddenly discover them everywhere!

Telling the time, before mechanical clocks, was not complicated. The basic unit is the day and the night, and we can all tell when the dawn has broken. The Moon provides another simple unit of time. The month’s orbit around the Earth is roughly every 29 days. The new, the crescents and full moons provide a quartering of the month. For longer units, the Earth orbits around the Sun on a yearly basic. But it is easily divided into four, the winter solstice; the spring equinox, the summer solstice and the autumn equinox.

Nature’s Way of Time Telling

But there were other ways of marking days in the calendar, with natural time markers marked by, for example, migrating birds, lambing, and any number of budding and flowering plants such as snowdrops, daffodils and elm leaves:

When the Elmen leaf is as big as a mouse’s ear,
Then to sow barley never fear;
When the Elmen leaf is as big as an ox’s eye,
Then says I, ‘Hie, boys” Hie!’
When elm leaves are as big as a shilling,
Plant, kidney beans, if to plant ’em you’re willing;
When elm leaves are as big as a penny,
You must plant kidney beans if you mean to have any.’

In my north-facing garden, I have my very own solar time marker. All through the winter, the sun never shines directly on my garden. Spring comes appreciably later than the front, which is a sun trap facing south. But in early April, just after 12 o’clock the sun peeks over the block of flats to the south of me. It finds a gap between my building and the converted warehouse next door. For a short window of time, a shaft of a sunbeam brings a belated and welcome spring.

New Light on Thomas Becket’s Window at Canterbury

Recent research has revealed the true story behind stained glass windows at Canterbury which had been reassembled wrongly.

The story is told here:

And if you cannot get through the pay wall here:

First published in 2023, revised 2025

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Chelsea Buns, Hot Cross Buns. Long Rope Day & Good Friday

photo of three hot cross buns on a blue transfer ware plate
Good Friday Hot Cross Buns

This year, Good Friday is on Friday 18th of April, and the day we eat Hot Cross Buns. It is a simpler sort of bun than the Chelsea Bun, which was the bun to have at Easter, in London in the 18th Century. Read on to hear about the Chelsea Buns.

Hot Cross Buns Good Friday Traditions

There seem to be all sorts of dubious traditions around the origins of the Hot Cross Bun. It has been suggested that the Greeks knew how to put a cross on a bun. Also, that the Anglo-Saxons celebrated the Goddess Eostre with the crossed bun. The cross represents the four quarters of the moon, the four seasons and the Wheel of the Year. But there is very little evidence for Eostre other than the Venerable Bede’s mentioning her name. So her association with Hot Cross Buns cannot be known.

However, the cross, and the association with Easter, makes the bun powerful, so there are many superstitions on record. A piece of an Easter Hot Cross Bun given to the sick may promote a cure. It was said that a bun cooked and served at Easter will not go off for a year. This might help explain the traditions that hanging them up on a string or ribbon is a good thing. One hung in a kitchen prevents fire. On a ship prevents sinking. In East London, the Widow’s Son Pub in East London has an old bun. This remembers a sailor-son who never returned to eat it on Good Friday.

Making and Eating Hot Cross Buns

The technology of putting a cross on a Bun requires nothing more complicated than a flour and water paste so it might well be an ancient tradition. A more impressive cross can be made with shortcrust pastry. The bun itself is simply flour, milk, butter, egg, salt, spices and mixed fruit. Here is a recipe from the BBC www.bbcgoodfood.com

In my opinion, they need to be purchased from a shop. Home-made Hot Cross Bun might be better but would be strangely disappointing. It’s normally eaten toasted and buttered although I prefer the soft doughy untoasted and unbuttered bun. But then it is possible to get carried away and eat the entire pack of four.

The Good Friday Chelsea Bun

Old Chelsea Bun House Frederick Napoleon Shepherd - from a print at the Museum of London (Wikipedia)
Old Chelsea Bun House Frederick Napoleon Shepherd – from a print at the Museum of London (Wikipedia)

‘RRRRRare Chelsea Buns’ as Jonathan Swift called them in a letter to Stella in 1711.

Fragrant as honey and sweeter in taste
As flaky and white as if baked by the light
As the flesh of an infant soft, doughy and slight.

The buns were made from eggs, butter, sugar, lemon and spices. The tradition was that, on Good Friday, 18th and 19th Century Londoners would go to Chelsea to buy Chelsea Buns. Thousands of people would turn up at the Five Fields. These stretched from Belgravia to what is now Royal Hospital Street. There were swings, drinking booths, nine pins and ‘vicious events that disgraced the metropolis’. The Bun House was on Jew’s Row as Royal Hospital Street was then called. As several King Georges visited the Bun House it became known as the Royal Chelsea Bun House. It was run by the Hands family. They were said to sell 50,000 Buns on the day. Stromboli tea garden was nearby.

Chelsea Cabinets of Curiosity

Inside the Chelsea Bun House was a collection of curiosities. Chelsea became known for its collection of curiosities in the 18th Century. Of course, there was the great Hans Sloane’s collection which was the founding collection of the British Museum. And then there was Don Saltero’s which was a coffee house that had curiosities on the wall. The Bun House displayed clocks, curiosities, models, paintings, and statues on display to attract a discerning Public.

Me. I love a Chelsea Bun above all buns, But can you get them any more? The British Library Cafe was the last place I found that sold them. And that was 6 years ago. Their place has been taken first by Danish Pastries and more recently the ubiquitous Cinnamon Bun. If you see any on sale let me know.

To make yourself one follow this link. https://www.christinascucina.com/chelsea-buns-british-buns-similar-to-cinnamon-rolls/

Chelsea_bun by Petecarney wikipedia
Chelsea Bun by Petecarney wikipedia

Long Rope Day

There is a tradition of Skipping on Good Friday. I can’t say I ever saw it – in my school skipping was a perennial activity, mostly enjoyed by the girls, but the boys would sometimes be intrigued enough to join in.

There is a great article about Long Rope Day in the Guardian with a wonderful picture of a collective skip.

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2023/apr/06/english-heritage-tradition-skipping-aeaster

More traditions here. My post on Pancake Day. For Lardy Cake read my Fat Thursday post.

First Written in 2023, and combined with the Chelsea Bun in April 2025

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Maundy Thursday April 17th

Maundy Money Pouches. and cover of the Order of Service for Royal Maundy service 1974 Photo Wehwalt
Maundy Thursday Money Pouches. and cover of the Order of Service for Royal Maundy service 1974 Photo Wehwalt

Maundy Thursday Meaning

This is the last day of Lent, and the day before the Passion. It’s also called Holy Thursday when Christians remember the Washing of the Feet, and the Last Supper. And Maundy Thursday. Maundy is thought to be from the:

‘Latin word mandatum, or commandment, reflecting Jesus’ words “I give you a new commandment.’ (Wikipedia).

I much prefer the derivation of Maundy Thursday from the English Kings giving alms to poor people.

‘English name “Maundy Thursday” arose from “maundsor baskets” or “maundy purses” of alms which the king of England distributed to certain poor at Whitehall before attending Mass on that day. Thus, “maund” is connected to the Latin mendicare, and French mendier, to beg.‘

Royal Maundy Thursday Wikipedia

The monarch gives out money in special red and white pouches to old people. In modern times, the money is specially minted for the occasion. It is now more symbolic than a practical gesture. But It dates back to the 13th Century, when the money was a vital lifeline for its recipients.

Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip Wakefield Cathedral after the 2005 Royal Maundy Ceremony. Photo Runner1928
Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip after the 2005 Royal Maundy Ceremony at Wakefield Cathedral. Photo Runner1928

In 1572 Queen Elizabeth 1 washed one foot of a group of poor women, then wiped, crossed and kissed them. In fact, the Queen was ‘protected as the women first had their feet washed by the laundress, then the sub-almoner, then the almoner. Only finally by the Queen. (The Perpetual Almanac of Folklore by Charles Kightley’)

When was the The Last Supper?

One scholar, Prof Humphreys author of ‘The Mystery Of The Last Supper’, (2011) has reconciled differences between John and the other evangelists. He believes two calendars were in use, one from before the exile and the other using a Babylonian Calendar. This confusion means that there is too much going on between the Last Supper and the Crucifixion. He suggests that the solution is that Last Supper was on the Wednesday not the Thursday. He also calculates a date for the Last Supper as:

Wednesday, 1 April AD33.

Maundy Thursday at Chester Cathedral

Today, I was in Chester Cathedral on Maundy Thursday where the Diocesan Eucharist was held. The Cathedral was awash with Clergy, (I counted at least 4 Bishops) and most of the priests in the area.

First published 2023, republished 2025

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Yew Sunday Palm Sunday April 13th

Palm Sunday Giotto. Entry into Jerusalem from the Cappella degli Scrovegni in Padova (sent to me by Lucia Granatella)

Yew Sunday (Domhnach an Iúir in Irish) is the medieval name for Palm Sunday – this is the day that Jesus entered Jerusalem in triumph on a donkey, with palm leaves being laid in front of him. It has always been very curious to me this so-short-lived triumph preceding such heavy and heart breaking tragedy. It is the Sunday before the Betrayal, which leads to the Crucifixion on Good Friday and the Resurrection on Sunday. A busy week for the Church.

Palm Sunday can be celebrated by making crosses out of palms, or with processions bearing palm branches or eating special cakes (there is always room in any ritual for cakes). But in the North where do you get your Palms from? So, it was often substituted by Box, or Olive or Willow and particularly, in Britain and Ireland, by Yew. Yew is evergreen and is so long lived as to be a symbol of everlasting life (I wrote more about the Yew here).

Giotto Bondone was a Florentine painter of the 14th Century of whom Giorgio Vasari, in his essential guide to the artists of the Renaissance, ‘The Lives of the Artists‘ said of the 10 year old:

One day Cimabue, going on business from Florence to Vespignano, found Giotto, while his sheep were feeding, drawing a sheep from nature upon a smooth and solid rock with a pointed stone, having never learnt from any one but nature. Cimabue, marvelling at him, stopped and asked him if he would go and be with him. And the boy answered that if his father were content he would gladly go. Then Cimabue asked Bondone for him, and he gave him up to him, and was content that he should take him to Florence.

There in a little time, by the aid of nature and the teaching of Cimabue, the boy not only equalled his master, but freed himself from the rude manner of the Greeks, and brought back to life the true art of painting, introducing the drawing from nature of living persons, which had not been practised for two hundred years; or at least if some had tried it, they had not succeeded very happily.

Written in 1550.

If you look at the painting, you will see, even more than his contemporary Duccio, the faces of the people are rounded and, and at least somewhat, individual. The crowd scene, particularly, to the right, has some depth and the people further away seem to recede from the viewer, rather than, as they often do in Byzantine style paintings, either float or seem to stand on or support themselves on each other’s shoulders. The Gate into Jerusalem has been rendered by someone who has seen something that he believes has the key to realistic scenes. One day it will be rediscovered, and named single-point perspective. Yes, Giotto doesn’t know the secret but he is working to find out what the trick is. The people in the trees are also in the distance. These are the giant strides that Vasari is referring to in the quotation above. Realistic people, in spaces with depth. The donkey is quite sweet too! Cimabue was particularly good at painting Crucifix scenes.

The Cappella degli Scrovegni in Padova is a World Heritage Site and Giotto and his team covered all the walls and ceiling with frescos, depicting the Life of Jesus, the Life of Mary, and the Last Judgement.

Giotto, The Last Judgement. Cappella degli Scrovegni, In Padova. Wikipedia

Here is a real Digital Heritage treat – a 360 Degree tour of the Chapel! Follow the link below. If it seems to be taking a long time to load there is an information button which, once pressed will allow the panorama to load immediately.

https://www.haltadefinizione.com/en/image-bank/giotto-di-bondone-scrovegni-chapel-360-view/

First Published in 2024, revised in 2025

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Beginning of the Financial Year April 6th

Google Screenshot welcoming the Beginning of the Financial Year

At last, I can relax! Today, is the beginning of the Financial Year. I have been trying to get money into my pension. I wanted to take advantage of tax concessions before the end of the financial year. How hard was that! But now done and I won’t bore you with the tedious details. And of course, it was probably the wrong time to do it, given the Trumpian Meltdown on stock exchanges. Thanks, Mr Trump.

Here is President Ronald Reagan talking about the inevitable disaster of high tariffs. Surprisingly, erudite? It makes me wonder whether Mr Trump is actually a Conservative?

Why is April 6th the Beginning of the Financial Year?

If you remember, in the medieval period, the official New Year was on March 25th. This was the Day of the Annunciation, the Day Mary conceived Jesus. (for much more on this see my post march-25th-feast-of-the-annunciation/). But in 1752, we followed belatedly, the Pope’s reorganisation of the Julian Calendar. We had to put our days back in sync with the Sun. This had gone 11 days out of kilter since Julius Caesar’s Reorganisation (see my post here!). As we lost 11 days, we had to put them back. So the beginning of the Financial Year in 1753 was changed to April 5th. A further adjustment in 1800 was necessary as this would have been a leap year. So the new Financial Year moved to April 6th. And it has remained so ever since. For more on the Gregorian Calendar look here.

Churchill & Roosevelt

Today, I did my Jane Austen Walk. I took people to Bond Street past the statue of Churchill sitting on a park bench chatting with Roosevelt. Seemed like it was from a different world?

Allies by Lawence Holofcener. 2nd May 1995 to commemorate 50 years of Peace. Photo by K Flude
Details of the Statue

On my Chaucer Walk this afternoon, one of the attendees told me he has been signed up to my Almanac for several years. He said he was very happy to see posts reposted from previous years. Thank you and good to know.

First Published 6th April 2025

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Francis Drake Knighted at Deptford April 4th

Sketch from an old print. Francis Drake being knighted by Queen Elizabeth I.  In fact, the Queen delegated the dubbing to a French Diplomat

The Queen’s half share in the profits of the Golden Hind’s circumnavigation of the world, amounted to more than her normal annual income. So it is no wonder she knighted the Captain, Sir Francis Drake, in the dock in what is now South East London at Deptford. The Spanish were furious that a Pirate should be so honoured. The Queen may have given a French man the honour of dubbing Sir Francis. She did this, perhaps to encourage the French to support the English against the Spanish.

The annual Royal Income for King Charles III is £86.3 million.  This is paid in the Sovereign’s Grant.  It gives you an idea of Drake’s booty. But I imagine she had a greater share of the nation’s wealth than Charles, as she was the Government not just a honorific cutter of ribbons.

Francis Drake. Hero or Bloodthirsty Pirate?

Francis Drake was one of the British heroes I read about as a child. I had a thick book with stories about people like Hereward the Wake, Drake, Charles II, Bonny Prince Charlie, David Livingstone etc. Many of them horrifically Imperialist and racist!

Drake was remembered for being the first English person to sail around the world. And his exploits in ‘singeing the beard of the King of Spain’ on his piratical raids on the Spanish Main.

In the books I read, the Spanish were the bad guys and we were on the side of the Angels. Drake was one of the swash-buckling heroes who turned Britain from a not very important country on the edge of Europe, to one of the World’s Great Powers.

Portrait of Francis Drake with Drake Jewel given to him by Queen Elizabeth I

On the other hand, he was also a pioneer in the Slave Trade, was involved in atrocities in Ireland and in the Spanish Territories. He summarily executed one of his crew in dubious circumstances. Perhaps more significantly, his contemporaries did not entirely trust him.

Francis Drake and the Spanish Armada

As the Spanish Armada sailed along the southern coast of England, the English Navy sniped at the heels of the Spanish. Drake was tasked with leading the night time pursuit of the Armada up the Channel. The idea was to stop them landing and to drive them away and into the North Sea. Drake in the Revenge was leading the pursuit, and the other ships were told to follow. He was to keep a single lantern alight in the stern of his ship. But the Lantern went out, and the British pursuit was disrupted.

The next morning, Drake comes back having captured the Spanish galleon Nuestra Señora del Rosario, flagship of Admiral Pedro de Valdés.  The ship contained the gold to pay the Spanish Armada, which Drake seized. Was this a fortuitous accident which rebounded to Drake’s considerable financial advantage or something more deliberate?

In the end, the lantern incident did not stop the British forcing the Spanish to flee around the North of Scotland.  On this perilous voyage only about 60 of their ships returned to Spain out of about 130. Britain was saved.

Nuestra Señora del Rosario and Agatha Christie

I used to lead an Agatha Christie program which included a visit to the Agatha Christie Poison Garden at Torre Abbey.   And it was here that the captured Spanish ship’s crew were imprisoned after Francis Drake captured it.

The Abbey is now a lovely museum with the Poison Garden amidst the ruins of the Premonstratensian Abbey. Its tithe barn was used to hold the prisoners of war from the Ship. There were 397 of them. .

The Spanish Bar, Torre Abbey. Photo 2012 Kevin Flude
The Spanish Bar, Torre Abbey. Photo 2012 Kevin Flude

Sir John Gilbert, who was Sheriff of Devon at the time, used 160 Spanish Prisoners of War to develop his estate above the River Dart. The Estate is in a magnificent position, overlooking the drowned valley of the Dart. It is now enjoyed by those millions of visitors to what became the summer home of Agatha Christie (Greenway).

View of the River Dart from Greenway
View of Greenway from the River Dart

The Golden Hind & Deptford

Queen Elizabeth I decided that the Golden Hind should be permanently docked in Deptford.  So the ship was placed in a ‘dry’ dock filled with soil.  The ship decayed slowly with time, and by about 1660 nothing much was left. 

I remember as a young archaeologist that some of our team took time out to work with Peter Marsden. He is one of the great experts in Naval archaeology, and he led a search to find Drake’s ship.  There was a huge fanfare in the London newspapers. But, rather embarrassingly, given the build up, they failed to find anything of significance.

Another attempt was made in 2012. This also failed to discover any significant traces of an Elizabethan Galleon.

The defeat of the Spanish Armada 1588 showing July22nd Start Point Devon with English ships pursuing the Spanish
From an old history book

Golden Hind souvenirs

The Keeper of the Naval Stores at Deptford made chairs from the ruins of Drake’s ship, and one of them is on display at the Divinity Hall, Oxford.

Chair made from timbers of the Golden Hind in the Dinity Hall, Oxford, photo K Flude
Chair made from the ruins of the Golden Hind, photo K Flude

Sir Francis Drake and Middle Temple Hall

In London, Sir Francis Drake was a regular visitor at Middle Temple Hall, off of Fleet St. A table (called the cupboard) is reputedly made from the hatch cover of the Golden Hind.  This is where the newly qualified barristers stand to have their registration entered into the Inn’s books. Sadly, it did not survive the bombing of 1941.

Middle Temple Hall. Photo K Flude 2021

The lantern which hung in the entrance to Hall allegedly came from the ship’s poop deck (so not the one he failed to keep lit!). Other famous mariners are also associated with the Middle Temple including Sir Martin Frobisher and Sir Walter Raleigh. Shakespeare’s company performed Twelfth Night in the Middle Temple Hall

https://www.middletemple.org.uk/about-us/history/elizabethan-and-jacobean-times

Also on this day

The Romans celebrated the Great Mother, the Cybele in the festival of the Megalesia. To celebrate bringing of meteorite of Cybele to her temple in Rome in 204BC. Celebrated by the Games of the Great Mother

First published 2024, revised 2025

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Vortigern April 2nd 1796

Bill for the 1796 play Vortigern and Rowena Public Domain Wikipedia

Vortigern was chosen as leader of Britannia immediately after the Romans withdrew in the early 5th Century AD. His name means Great Leader in Brittonic. He is one of the few leaders we know to be a real person in what used to be called the Dark Ages. We accept him as real, as he appears in the near contemporary source by the Monk Gildas.

However, very little is known of him except legends. He was associated with Merlin. Legend accuses him of betraying the British for the lust for Rowena. She was the daughter of the Saxon Leader Hengist. Whatever the truth of this, he continued the late Roman policy of hiring Germanic mercenaries. They were used to defend against the many barbarian threats to the Empire. The threats to Britain including the Picts, the Irish, and, of course the Saxons. The legends say that Hengist and Horsa were hired with their three ‘keels’ of Saxon mercenaries. In payment for services rendered, or for lust, Vortigern surrendered the sovereignty of Kent to the Saxons. Thus began the so-called ‘Adventus Saxonum’, and the destruction of the power of the Britons.

Kent and the Survival of pre-Saxon names

Medieval portrait of Vortigern

How much of this is ‘true’ we have no idea. But the name of Kent survives from the prehistoric, into the Roman. And unlike most tribal names survives to the modern day. This is probably because it was the first Roman Civitas to be taken over by the Saxons. Most likely still largely a working political unit. So it kept its name. The other Roman political units mostly lost their names in the anarchy of this period. Who now has heard of the Trinovantes, the Catuvellauni, or the Atrebates? The political boundaries from the Prehistoric period survived through the Roman period. But mostly did not survive the fall of Rome.

For more legends of this period look at my post

Vortigern & Rowena the Play

In 1796, a great cast at the Drury Lane Theatre, owned and managed by Sheridan, put on a newly discovered play by William Shakespeare. The cast included Kemble, Barrymore, and Mrs Jordan who was the mistress of Prince William (aka William III). Rumours swirled around about the authenticity of the play. Shakespeare was interested in Britain’s legendary history having written Cymberline and King Lear. But critics thought it was too simple to be genuine. Eventually, William Henry Ireland admitted he was the author.

‘A London Year’ by Travis Elborough and Nick Rennison has a great quote from a visit to the play. It took place on April 2nd 1796 and is recorded in Joseph Farington’s diary. Compare this description to your last polite experience at the Theatre.

Shakespeare’s forgery staged

Island’s play of Vortigern, I went to. Prologue, spoken in 35 minutes past six, play over at 10. A strong party was evidently made to support it, which clapped without opposition frequently through near three acts. When some ridiculous passages caused a laugh, which infected the house during the remainder of the performance, mixed with groans. Kemble requested the audience to hear the play out about the end of the fourth act, and prevailed. The epilogue was spoken by Mrs. Jordan, who skipped over some lines which claimed the play as Shakespeare’s

Barrymore attempted to give the play out for Monday next, but was hooted off the stage. Kemble then came on. And after some time, was permitted to say that ‘School for Scandal’ would be given, which the house approved by clapping.

Sturt of Dorsetshire was a Stage Box drunk and exposed himself indecently to support the play. And when one of the stage attendants attempted to take up the green cloth, Sturt seized him roughly by the head. He was slightly pelted with oranges. Ireland, his wife, a son and a daughter and two others were in the centre box at the head of the Pitt. Ireland occasionally clapped. But towards the end of the fourth act, he came into the front row and for a little time, leaned his head on his arm. And then went out of the box and behind the scenes. The Playhouse contained an audience that amounted to £800 pounds.

April 2nd 1796 from Joseph Farington’s Diary, (I have changed some of the punctuation.)

On This Day

Today is St. Urban of Langres Day.

He is the patron of Langres; Dijon; vine-growers, vine-dressers, gardeners, vintners, and coopers. And invoked against blight, frost, storms, alcoholism, and faintness. (www.catholic.org/saints/) But is also called upon to make maid’s hair long and golden.

On the feast of St Urban, (forsooth) maids hang up some of their hair before the image of St Urban, because they would have the rest of their hair grow long and golden.

Reginald Scott, the Discovery of Witchcraft, 1584. (Thanks to the Perpetual Almanac by Charles Kightly.) For more on Reginald Scott and Witches see my post.

1744 – First Golf Tournament. No, not at St Andrews but at Leith Links, Edinburgh.

First Published, 2nd April 2025

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April Fools Day April 1st

The Famous Spaghetti Tree April Fool’s Joke (from facebook)

April Fools Day and Spaghetti Growing on Trees

I nearly always forget to honour April Fool’s Day (or April Fish Day as the French call it). But in Britain, somewhere in our newspaper or TV station there is a April Fools Joke slipped in. The most remembered is the BBC piece showing film of Italian Farmers picking spaghetti from trees.

First Reference to April Fools Day

The first unambiguous British reference to April Fools Day is by diarist John Aubrey’s “Fooles holy day” in 1686 – although he might have been referring to Germany.

‘We observe it on ye first of April… And so it is kept in Germany everywhere.’

For more details read hoaxes.org.

Chaucer and April Fools Day

But there is a possible earlier reference in Chaucer in the Nun’s Priest’s Tale.   This I find quite compelling but most Chaucer scholars don’t. This is the text:

When that the monthe in which the world bigan
That highte March, whan God first maked man,
Was complet, and passed were also
Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two

So, if you have been keeping up with me, you will know that the first lines are referring to March 25th, (when the world began see my post here) when God made Adam and Eve, and when the Church started the New Year and the year number moved one on. This was a major Church festival, usually followed by a week of holiness. The Roman New Year, January 1st, ended with a light-hearted festival called Saturnalia, and it is suggested that April 1st was, similarly, a day of release after the festival of the official Church ceremony of the New Year.

Chaucer’s last line says ‘Since March began thirty-two days have passed.’ A foolish person would not realise this is a reference to April 1st. Hence, this suggests a Fool’s Day already existed. Some scholars think that Chaucer was referring to May 2nd, counting the 32 days not from the beginning of March but from the end of March. I think they look at the second and third lines which read ‘That high March…. was complete’ and so add the 32 days to the end of March. Foolish in my opinion and not reading what actually Chaucer wrote which is ‘Since March began….

April Fools Day in Recent Years

I have had a quick look at the Guardian for their 2025 April Fools Day Story and I think it is this one:

Guardian April Fools Day Joke article or the world gone mad?

£4,440 for a Coffee cup shaped handbag?

In 2023, Harry and Megan proved irresistible and the Guardian reported that:

‘The Sun published a piece announcing the launch of Prince Harry and Meghan’s new video game “Megxit: Call of Duke-y” in which the royal couple try to reach California while dodging obstacles, including rival royals and the media, along the way.‘

In 2024, there was an equivalent story (from the Guardian’s quiz on April Fool’s jokes:

‘Meghan Markle was criticised after it was revealed that when you put her lifestyle brand name – American Riviera Orchard – into the What3words location service, it points to a statue of Oliver Cromwell, who famously had a King Charles executed‘

Hunting the Gowk

Generally, in Britain, we play a prank and say ‘April Fool’ with great delight. But we are not allowed to continue beyond midday. The Scots used to call it ‘Hunting the Gowk’ and the main prank was to give someone a letter to deliver, and the person who opened the letter would read:

“Dinna laugh, dinna smile. Hunt the gowk another mile” and send the fool onto another leg of his or her’s fool’s errand. In Ireland the letter would read ‘send the fool further’.

First published March 25th 4004 BC and republished yearly on every April Fool’s Day.

Section on the meaning of April moved to my post April on April 7th