A man born on a Pisces shall be a great goer, a fornicator, a mocker and covetous.: he will say one thing and do another. He shall trust is his sapience, he shall have good fortune: He will be a defender of widows and orphans. He shall be fearful on water: he shall soon pass all adversities and live 72 years after nature.
The woman shall be delicious, familiar in jests, pleasant of courage, fervent, a great drinker. She shall have sickness of her eyes and be sorrowful by shame, needlessly. Her husband will leave her and she shall have much trouble with strangers. She shall travel much, have pain in his stomach and live seventy-seven years.
Both man and woman shall live faithfully.
Kalendar of Shepheardes, 1604 (from the Perpetual Almanac by Charles Kightly
What surprises me about the above is that it has to be nearly always wrong as the predictions are too specific.
Now, the Old Moore’s 2023 Almanac has a page on Liz Truss of all people, clearly written before she imploded as Prime Minister, and it is clear they think she has a real chance of being PM. They say she has ‘an almost steely determination and plenty of apparent ambition. …. She has every astrological requirement necessary to keep her nose clean and at this moment in time is certainly among the main contenders.‘. So yes they are right about her being among the main contenders but absolutely no hint of the disaster that her PMship was. Similarly the 2022 Old Moore’s Almanac had no hint of the Ukraine war.
I wanted to find something about the winter as experienced in World War 1. Why? Because I watched a very moving film about World War 1 by Derek Jarman called ‘War Requiem’, which puts images to the music by Benjamin Britten. I also listened to a radio piece on ‘Spring Offensives’ to give a long view on what was happening in Ukraine.
I found this war poem which vividly sets a winter war scene:
Searchlight F. S. Flint
There has been no sound of guns, No roar of exploding bombs; But the darkness has an edge That grits the nerves of the sleeper.
He awakens; Nothing disturbs the stillness, Save perhaps the light, slow flap, Once only, of the curtain Dim in the darkness.
Yet there is something else That drags him from his bed; And he stands in the darkness With his feet cold against the floor And the cold air round his ankles. He does not know why, But he goes to the window and sees A beam of light, miles high, Dividing the night into two before him, Still, stark and throbbing.
The houses and gardens beneath Lie under the snow Quiet and tinged with purple.
There has been no sound of guns, No roar of exploding bombs; Only that watchfulness hidden among the snow-covered houses, And that great beam thrusting back into heaven The light taken from it.
My search also showed that, on this day in 1915, the British retook trenches at St Eloi. St Eloi was just behind the Southern edge of the Ypres Salient, a bulge of allied territory surrounded on three sides by German forces and the site of the five battles of Ypres. Fighting continued here from 1914 through into 1918 when the Germans were finally pushed out of the Salient.
World War I destruction in Ypres (wikipedia)
St Eloi struck a bell as St Eloy, is mentioned in the Canterbury Tales as he was a very popular saint in the medieval period. The Saint was also responsible for converting Flanders to Christianity in the 7th Century. Properly called St. Eligius he is the patron saint of horses and cattle, farriers, blacksmiths, metalworkers, goldsmiths, and therefore of mechanics in general (including the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers, forerunners of whom fought at Ypres).
According to legend Eligius was having trouble shoeing a horse, which he thought was possessed. So he cut the horse’s leg off, re-shoed the amputated leg and then reattached the leg back on the horse, which trotted off none the worse for the experience. St Eloy was noted for refusing to swear an oath, and it is ironic that the Prioress swears, according to Chaucer, by St Eloy. His Saints Day is 1 December.
I am working on a new season, and these are the walks for the first six months – but more to come.
The Archaeology Of London Walk Sunday 2nd April 2023 11:15 Exit 3 Bank Underground Station To book Jane Austen’s London Sat 2.30 pm 2nd April 2023 Green Park underground station, London (north exit, on the corner). To book Chaucer’s Medieval London Guided Walk Aldgate Tube Sunday 16 April 2023 11.30pm To book Chaucer’s London To Canterbury Virtual Pilgrimage Sunday 16th April 2023 7.30pm To book The Peasants Revolt Anniversary Guided Walk Aldgate Underground Sunday 11th June 2023 10.45am. To book The Peasants Revolt Anniversary Virtual Tour Sunday 11th June 2023 7.30pm To book
St Artemios is the patron saint of male genital disorders, more specifically, hernias and ruptures. His Saint’s Day is October 20th but I hope you will forgive me for raising it early because of personal circumstances.
Yesterday, I did a Chaucer’s London Virtual Tour – one I first prepared during the dark days of Covid. As I was revising the presentation, I was surprised to discover that I had illustrated a piece on medieval health care (St Thomas Hospital, Chaucer’s Physician) with images of medieval hernia operations. Surprised, because I am currently recovering from an inguinal hernia operation and suffering a little so that the image (above) which, coincidently popped up in facebook made me laugh. Obviously, I was meant to write about testicles today.
St. Artemios was Governor of Egypt during the reign of Julian the Apostate (331 – 26 June 363). Julian was a philosopher. nephew to Constantine the Great, who tried to turn the tide and return to traditional Roman religious practices. Artemios was called to a military meeting with Julian where he witnessed and objected to abuse of Christians. He was tortured with red hot irons, and miraculously cured. Then he was taken to the Amphitheatre where there was a big stone broken in half, and was put on half stone and the other half was raised above him and released crushing Artemios. He was presumed dead, and left for a day. But he was still alive, broken boned, disembowelled, eyeless and remained unwilling to renounce his religion and Julian ordered his beheading.
A noble woman took his body to Constantinople where his shrine soon started attracting miracles. In the 7th Century an anonymous author compiled a record of the miracles. St Artemios had become known for healing hernias and genital disorders ‘mostly in men.’ I’m not sure entirely why. Perhaps because of the red-hot pokers? The disembowelling? Maybe the stone that crushed was round?
I first came across the Saint when my mother-in-law bought me a wonderful book called ‘A Medieval Miscellany selected by Judith Herrin and with an introduction by the great Emmanuel Le Roy Ladurie (see Jan 27th Post to read about Montaillou and Ladurie). It had a colourful spread called ‘The Miracle of the Testicles’ which was the story told by Stephen, a 7th Century deacon of St. Sophia in Constantinople who ‘suffered a rupture, whether from shouting acclamations or from a heavy weight, I cannot say.’
To cut a long story short, Stephen was very embarrassed by his condition and eventually tried many cures and finally undertook surgery, which was successful but very soon the condition reoccurred which left him to despair.
Scrotal Hernia Operation, italy
So he planned to visit the shrine of the great healer of testicles, but was too embarrassed to stand in the Church ashamed to be seen by friends. But passing by one day he nipped into the Tomb, descended to where the relics were and ‘cast’ some of the Saint’s holy oil on his testicles. He then found, much to his surprise, that the doors to the Coffin itself were open. Seeing this as a divine intervention he jumped onto the coffin, straddled it face down, so that the corner of the tomb was rubbing his testicles and prayed:
‘And with tears, I spoke again to the martyr: “St.Artemios, by God, Who has given you the gift of cures, no doctor on Earth will ever touch me again. So if you please, cure me. But if not, to your everlasting shame I will live thus without cure.‘
He was not cured immediately. Later he went to the Hot Baths and bathed, and on leaving the baths, thanks be to St Artemios, he was completely cured.
I have transcribed the translation of Stephen’s writings and place it here below as it has many fascinating aspects and remember it is a 7th Century account. But what an extraordinary tale: that it seems reasonable to steal into a tomb, take the holy oil, rub your genitals all over the shrine, and then tell the Saint that it will be to his everlasting shame if he does not make the cure!
For more on the Hospital of Sampson click here. Livanon is one of the Roman Baths in Constantinople and it is interesting that the cure follows bathing in them. The Oxeia is a neighbourhood in Constantinople connected with St Antemios. A cautery is a method to remove or close off a part of the body. It can be hot, cold or chemical.
At long last I disclosed the misfortune to my parents, and after many treatments, (how many!) had been performed on me. Finally, after taking counsel with them, I entrusted myself for surgery to the surgeons in the hospital Sampson, and I reclined in the hospital room near to the entrance to the area devoted to eyes.
After I had been treated all over for three days at night with cold cauteries, surgery was performed on the fourth day. I will omit to what horrible things I experienced while on my back.
To sum up everything, I state that I actually despaired of life itself at the hands of the physicians. After God, entreated by the tears of my parents, restored my life to me, and after the scar from the incision and the cautery had healed, and just as I was believing that I was healthy, a short time later, the same condition recurred and so I reverted to my former state…
I had a plan to approach the holy martyr, as I had heard of his many great miracles. Still, I was unwilling to wait in the venerable church feeling ashamed before friends and acquaintances to be seen by them in such condition. But I frequently used to pass by (for at that time, I was staying in the Oxeia). And so I descended to the holy tomb of his precious relics, and I cast some of his holy blessing, I. e. oil on my testicles, hoping to procure a cure in this manner. And frequently, I entreated him to deliver me from the troublesome condition…
After descending to the holy tomb, I found the doors in front open and I was astounded that they were opened at such an hour. This was the doing of the martyr, in his desire to pity me, Stretching out facedown on the holy coffin, I straddled it, and thus contrived to rub the corner of the same Holy tomb on the spot where I was ailing. And with tears, I spoke again to the martyr: “St.Artemios, by God, Who has given you the gift of cures, no doctor on earth will ever touch me again. So if you please, cure me. But if not, to your everlasting shame I will live thus without cure.’ And after some days I went to the bath in the court of Anthemios, the one called Livanon to bathe by myself at dawn in order not to be seen by anyone . And entering the hot chamber, I noticed that I still had the injury. But upon exiting, I had no injury, and recognising the act of kindness on the part of God and the martyr which is befallen me… in thanksgiving… I do now glorify them proclaiming their deeds of greatness throughout my whole life.
From Medieval Miscellany selected by Judith Herrin Pg 54 the Miracle of the Testicles
Me. Im nown to be the world’s worse prooofreader. And I quiet often only spot errors after i have prest the ‘publish’ button.
So, if you are reading this via the email, click on the title and this will take you to the blog in the cloud, and you are likely to have a version where I have got rid of some of the most horrifiable, embrasing igregious erors. But only, some obvs.
Detail of photo from the American Viscountess showing a medlar (link to the site below:)
Medlars were a very common and useful fruit particularly in the Medieval and Early Modern period. They come out in December but can only be eaten when they are rotten and ‘bletted’. They also store well. They, therefore, provide a source of winter sweetness when there were few other fresh sources available.
They are from the Rosaceae family which includes apples, pears, rosehips and quinces. The English called them ‘open arses’ or ‘dog’s arses’ or ‘granny’s arses’ because of the way they looked until the more polite French name the Medlar caught on.
Shakespeare uses both words and uses their sexual connotations as they were thought also to look like female genitalia. A medlar was also a name for a prostitute. So in Romeo and Juliet this speech by Mercutio to Romeo and their mates contains some very bawdy thoughts:
If love be blind, love cannot hit the mark. Now will he sit under a medlar tree And wish his mistress were that kind of fruit As maids call medlars when they laugh alone. O, Romeo, that she were, O that she were An open-arse and thou a poppering pear!
RJ 2.1.33
I think you can also see how good Shakespeare was at making his allusions available to all classes. For the sophisticated he begins with the reference to the French medlar and in case the groundlings are missing out throws in the ‘open-arse’ so they know what he is alluding to.
List of plays performed in February 1596 by the Admiral’s Men
In the absence of anything else particularly 7th Februaryish my original thoughts were to add a few items of archaeological news while pointing readers at the revised February 7th post from last year on Selene, the Moon Goddess.
But as I read the Mosaic column in the London Archaeologist Magazine and came across notice of the completion of the Henslowe-Alleyn Digitisation project I remembered that I have long used information from the Archive which gives a list of plays Henslowe’s Admiral’s Men performed in February 1596 at the Rose, in Southwark.
Just look at the list above! Talk about hard working – imagine an actor in what was essentially a small repertory company remembering this many plays? Also at the new Globe the guides tell you the Shakespearian Playhouses were used in the Summer. No! This was deep winter 23 performances in an outdoor theatre! 14 different plays, if I count correctly! Exclamation Mark Exclamation Mark.
I’m sure I will return to this archive but, for the moment it is an immense bit of news in the Shakespeare industry. Henslowe’s records were stored in a locked trunk for 260 years. Now they have been digitised and made available. Also elements that had been separated from the original archive have been brought back so the greatest archive of information on the Shakespearean theatre is now unified and available.
‘Crack me this nut!’ was performed 16 times, sold by Alleyn, and no one knows what it was about. It might relate to the sense of our phrase ‘a tough nut to crack.’ Here for more.
A badly photocopied page of the archive.
Other news from Mosaic includes:
This year marks the 300th Anniversary of Christopher Wren’s Death who rebuilt 50 or so Churches and St Pauls Cathedral after the destruction of the Great Fire of London.
An early 7th Century burial of a girl aged 10 -11 has been excavated in Eastry in Kent. DNA shows she was 33% of West African ancestry and 67% Continental Northern European.
Selene
Full Moon by Natalie Tobart
I have just revised the February 7th Almanac entry on Selene the Moon Goddess which has a wonderful set of Full Moon pictures by a friend of mine called Natalie Tobart which you can see above or by reading about Selene below:
The Irish have created a brand new Bank Holiday for St Bridget. The first one is today Monday 6th February 2023 and it follows a public holiday given last year for Health Workers in March. The timing of the Bank Holiday is explained by the Irish Post:
St Brigid’s Day itself falls on February 1 each year but going forward the Imbolc/St Brigid’s Day public holiday will fall on the first Monday in February, unless February 1st falls on a Friday.
This means that Ireland now has a public holiday on the 4 Celtic festivals of Samain (Halloween), Imbolc (St Bridget’s Day), Beltane (May Day) and Lughnasa (Lammas Day). These festivals are quarter-days, which mean they fall half way between the Solstices and Equinoxes.
The Independent wrote that ‘then-Tánaiste, Leo Varadkar, said last year‘ ….“This will be the first Irish public holiday named after a woman,” He also is quoted as saying:
“It marks the half-way point between the winter solstice and the equinox, the beginning of spring and the Celtic New Year.”
Extra Bank Holidays in the UK?
There are occasional calls for a new Bank Holiday in the UK. It’s often a Conservative MP calling for a National Day for the British and they often suggest a date like Trafalgar Day 21st October (commemorating the great Naval battle in 1805 in which Nelson was fatally wounded). It has several virtues in their eyes. Firstly, it is a day that confirmed Britain’s mastery of the Seas and thus is an ideal day for celebrating patriotism. Secondly, it is the school half term, and gives a much needed day off between summer and Christmas. Thirdly, they can suggest the day should be taken from May Day Bank holiday which coincides with the International Worker’s Day, which is obviously ‘a bad thing’.
For example, the Portsmouth MP’s supported a call for Trafalgar Day here: . The report says: ‘there are currently no bank holidays in the UK which celebrate battles or war victories’.
This, I think, leaves the rest of us thinking ‘What planet do these people live on?’ Yes, Trafalgar Day would have been a great day for a Bank Holiday IF this were 1839, maybe even 1939. But in 2023 it is just not on any ordinary person’s radar. We don’t think so very much about the Napoleonic War or Nelson, or nor do we often sing ‘Heart of Oaks, are our Men’ any more. In short, it is a reminder how distant from the rest of us Conservative MPs are, and how progressive Ireland has become by contrast.
Recently, we have been given a few Royal Bank Holidays, last year for the Queen, this year for the King. The Trade Union Congress proposed the need for more bank holidays because we only have the usual eight annual bank holidays for workers in England and Wales. Scotland has nine or ten; the average for the EU is ‘12.3 bank holidays a year. Finland and Romania get 15, while workers in Japan have 16 public holidays in total’.
A recent radio programme ‘The Bottom Line’ compared Britain with France and revealed that Britain is now 20% less productive than France, (up by 10% since Brexit) and that we make up the deficit by working longer hours. It appears that the French high tax. high worker’s protection regime, means they have to find ways of getting more out of the same hours, while we can just hire and fire, and are happy to make people work in a more inefficient way.
Nutritious National Health food, called Fish Pie. By contrast the apple crumble and custard was delicious.
The Guardian has recently written a piece on this subject which I am following as I recover from the hernia operation. I found publishing from my phone from the hospital bed surprisingly easy as it was the first time I had used the phone for writing the Almanac of the Past
My typing on the computer is fast but very, very inaccurate and clumsy and full of revision and cutting and pasting and rewriting and typos. So its quite hard work bashing it into shape. But I found it much easier on the phone, with the fingers of one hand being less prone to error and, in some strange way, more directly attached to the part of my head that composes the text into something vaguely readable. But it is more difficult to add the images. I have now been at home for 4 days and my phone is dying (I am well!) so back to normal methods.
Today, I have been completely revising the entry for February 3rd St Blaise’s day with a few thoughts as to why the stories of the Martyr Saints are so very gory.
