Helston Furry Dance May 8th

Of course, the real news today is a new Pope and the 80th Anniversary of Victory in Europe Day.  But, I can let other media covers those stories. (But more on VE Day below.)

Helston Furry Dance

At the end of the May Day/Beltane Festival, Helston in Cornwall holds its Furry (or Floral) Dance. It is normally on the 8th May. But it changes date if the 8th is a Sunday or a Monday (Helston’s market day). But it isn’t. So the Floral Dance was held asusual on the 8th May.

Padstow holds, perhaps, the most famous May Day festival on May 1st. Padstow feels more of a ‘pagan’ festival, while Helston is a more sedate, gentlemanly, dance. Padstow is more fuelled by a belly full of ale, while Helston by a Pims No 1, or a Gin and Tonic?

Do, have a look at both youtube videos and watch the Padstow one until at least you see the ‘obby ‘orse and the teaser dancing.

Children born between the two days, May 1st and May 8th are considered to have been ‘born with the skill of man and beast and power over both.’

On This Day

1945 – Victory in Europe Day.    Official end of the War in Europe with the definitive surrender of Nazi Germany to the Allies, signed by Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel in Eisenhowers HQ on 8 May 1945 (VE Day).  Churchill broadcast the official end of the war at 3pm.  In 2025, it was the 80th Anniversary of the defeat of Fascism. A truly significant date with a diminishing number of veterans and eye witnesses surviving to carry the torch.  My 97 year old Father is one and he went to London to celebrate that magical day when the war in the west was over. this is what my dad wrote in his recently publish autobiography ‘A Boy from Haggerston:

At last, the War in Europe was over. This day would forever be known as VE day. Both my grandparents had survived the Blitz and only Uncle Charlie’s (my dad’s elder brother) two sons had lost their lives – Charlie died at Salerno and is buried near the beach in the war grave, and Jimmie died, aged 18, at the battle of Reichwald Forest, and is buried in the war grave in the forest. According to David Warren, who is now a battlefield tour guide, received information that Jimmie was reported by the Commanding Office as a typical bright Cockney lad.

Following the end of the war, we were then introduced to images of the emaciated prisoners in the recently freed concentration camps in the newspapers, and in the Pathé news broadcast at the cinema. The terrible news that the Nazis killed millions of Jews in an attempt to wipe out the Jewish race in occupied Europe, spread to a horrified world. This vile campaign is now known as the Holocaust, but is more precisely described as ethnic cleansing.

Jean and I went up to London for VE Day and later also for the VJ Celebrations, where there was singing and dancing in the streets. We went by train to Waterloo, and then walked to Piccadilly. We went with our friends Esther and Bob. It was a great time.

Front cover of 'A Boy fomr Haggerston' by Ben Flude
Front cover of ‘A Boy fomr Haggerston’ by Ben Flude

Available on Feedaread. https://www.feedaread.com/books/A-Boy-from-Haggerston-9781835970515.aspx at £4.18

Or Amazon At £7.99 https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=benjamin+flude&crid=2FVJ1OX1BU88E&sprefix=benja%2Caps%2C1475&ref=nb_sb_noss_2.

Now, it is up to us and the young to stop such a war ever starting again. What we know is that the vast majority of us don’t want war, but somehow we let it happen.  That is our task how to create a world where war is unthinkable. 

First Published May 2024, revised 2025

The Maypole, This Stinking Idol & the End of May Day May 2nd

An Imagined Scene at the Maypole at St Andrew Undershaft
The Stinking Idol : An Imagined Scene at the Maypole at St Andrew Undershaft

Philip Stubbes, wrote a vitriolic attack on pagan practices in his ‘Anatomy of Abuses in 1583’. He fired a broadside at the tradition of dancing around the Maypole. He said they had: ‘as Superintendent and Lord ouer their pastimes and sportes: namely, Sathan Prince of Hell‘ as they erected ‘this stinking Idoll’. By which he meant the Maypole. Stubbes suggested that of the maids that went out to the woods on May Eve less than one-third returned ‘undefiled‘.

Evil May Day Riots

The Maypole was stored at St Andrew Cornhill, which became known as St Andrew Undershaft. In 1517, it was attacked during the ‘Evil May Day riots’. The main focus of the riot was foreign workers. The Under Sheriff of the time, Thomas More, tried to quell it. But 5,000 troops commanded by the Duke of Northfolk was necessary to regain control of the City. 300 rioters were arrested. One hanged, drawn and quartered, 13 hanged and nearly 300 pardoned after the intercession of Woseley and/or Katherine of Aragon. The shaft was returned to its place under the eves of the houses in Shaft Alley. But apparently banned from being raised again.

1549 May Day Riots

But in 1549, the curate of nearby St Katharine Cree Church made an inflammatory speech. This incited a Puritan mob who cut the shaft into pieces and burnt it. I always imagine the Curate’s sermons to be along the same lines as Phillip Stubbes attack on the Maypole.

Maypole: this Stinking Idol, Rather

Here is a longer description of the May Day Celebrations by Stubbes.

But their chiefest iewel they bring from thence is the Maie-poale,
which they bring home with great veneration, as thus: They haue
twentie, or fourtie yoake of Oxen, euery Oxe hauing a sweete
Nosegaie of flowers tyed on the tip of his homes, and these Oxen
drawe home this Maie-poale (this stinking ldoll rather) which is
couered all ouer with Flowers and Hearbes, bound round about
with strings from the top to the bottome, and sometimes painted
with variable collours, with two or three hundred men, women and
children following it, with great deuotion.

And thus being reared vp, with handkerchiefes and flagges streaming
on the top, they strawe the ground round about, bind green boughes about it, set
vp Summer Haules, Bowers, and Arbours hard by it. And then fa!
they to banquet and feast, to leape and daunce about it, as the

a Heathen people did, at the dedication of their ldolles, whereof this
is a perfect patteme, or rather the thing it selfe. I haue heard it
crediblie reported (and that viua voce) by men of great grauity,
credite, and reputation, that of fourtie, threescore, or a hundred Maides,
going to the wood ouemight, there haue scarcely the third part of them returned home againe vndefiled.

Phillip Stubbes from ”A Critical Edition Of Philip Stubbes’s Anatomie Of Abuses‘ By Margaret Jane Kidnie.

Restoration Maypole

The unraised pole seems to have survived until the beginning of the Civil War, (1644) when it was destroyed. But at the Restoration of Charles II a new and huge Maypole was ordered. It was joyously erected 134 ft high (41 metres) in the Strand. This one was danced around till 1713 when it was replaced. The original was sold to one Isaac Newton. He used it to support the biggest telescope in Europe which was erected in Wanstead by a friend.

And that, my friends, is how you get from Superstition to Science in one easy story.

Old Print of Isaac Newton
Old Print of Isaac Newton

Postscript.

I have always told people that the sermon leading to the destruction of the Shaft in 1549 was made at St Paul. I cannot remember where I read this. The suggestion that the Maypole in Cornhill was not used after 1517 seems strange. Why then would an unused maypole rouse a crowd to riot in 1549? Of the sources I have at hand, the London Encyclopedia mentions the riot of 1517 in its entry on St Andrew Undershaft but doesn’t elaborate more. ‘Layers of London‘ says ‘It was last raised in 1517 when ensuing riots led to the celebration being banned.’ which is definitive sounding. But is it? I wonder if it was banned for a year or two, then allowed again, and finally stopped in 1549?

For more on May Day see yesterday’s post.

On This Day

‘Allies’ Roosevelt and Churchill by by Lawrence Holofcener, unveiled on May 2nd 1995 by Princess Margaret and Lord Snowdon

1995 Allies Statue Statue of Churchill and Roosevelt set up to commemorate 50 years of peace. 30 years later what is the state of the Allies relationship? Topical or what? https://www.iwm.org.uk/memorials/item/memorial/11351

First written in 2023 and revised on May 2nd 2024 and 2025.

May Day May 1st

May Day – Bringing the Maypole, Bedfordshire. Image from ‘Romantic Britain’

Maypoles were often stored during the year. A few days before May Day they were repainted, and bedecked with May Garlands – mostly made from Hawthorn. The Maypole used in London in 1660 was 134 feet high. Tall straight trees were used, sometimes of Larch, and they might be spliced together to get the requisite height. John Stow says that each parish in London had their own Maypole, or combined with a neighbouring Parish. The main Maypole was on the top of Cornhill, in Leadenhall Street. It was stored under the eves of St Andrew’s Church, which became known as St Andrew’s Undershaft as a result.

Padstow May Day Festival

Padstow holds, perhaps, the most famous May Day festival on May 1st. It feels feels very ‘pagan’ or do I mean it is fuelled by an enormous amount of drink?

Here is a video, watch until you see the ‘obby ‘orse and the teaser dancing.

Why May Eve?

The celebrations begin on May Eve because the Celtic calendar starts the day at Dusk. This seems strange to us who, perversely, ‘start’ our day at Midnight just after everyone has gone to bed! The other choice, and maybe the most logical is Dawn. But Dawn and Dusk are difficult to fix. Midnight was chosen by Julius Caesar when he created the Julian Calendar. Midnight has the virtue of being a fixed metric, being half way between Dawn and Dusk. From the Celtic point of view. The day ends when the Sun goes down over the western horizon. So the end of the old day, is the beginning of the new day. Makes sense?

For Walpurgis Nacht see my post on April 30th here: walpurgis-nacht-april-30th/

Beltane

Celebrations centred around the Bonfire. The day was sacred to the fire God Belenus (Gaulish: Belenos, Belinos, British Belinus, Bel, or Beli), and May Day was called Beltane. Bonfires continued to be a part of the celebration into the 16th Century, and in places until the 20th Century. According to folklore tradition, the bonfire should be made of nine types of wood. They must be collected by nine teams of married men (or first born men). They must not carry any metal with them. The fire has to be lit by rubbing oak sticks together or a wooden awl twisted in a wooden log.

Participants, have to run sunwise around the fire. Oatcakes are distributed, with one being marked with a black spot. The one who collects it has to jump through the fire three times. Bonfires would have been, by choice on the top of hills. But then they were also held in the streets in London.

May celebrations have a similarity to Halloween. This was also a fire festival and both are uncanny times when sprites and spirits abound. Hawthorn was a favoured wood not only because of its beautiful may flower. It was also said to be the wood the crown of thorns was made from. Hawthorn had the power of resisting supernatural forces. Therefore, it was used to protect doors, cribs, cow sheds and other places from witches. Witches, it was said, got their power to fly from potions made from chopped up infants. The best protection was Christening. The custom was that christening took place as early as possible and normally three days after birth. Shakespeare was baptised on 26th April 1564, so we celebrate his birthday on 23rd April. See my post for more on this subject.

Special May Babies

Cribs would be bedecked with Hawthorn and protection might be augmented by a bible, rowan, and garlic. Babies born between May 1 and 8 were thought to be special. They were destined to have power over man and beast. Weddings were frowned upon in Lent and in May, so April became a popular choice for marriage.

May Dew

After celebrations on May Eve (April 30th), women would go out in the woods to collect May, other flowering plants. They would wash their faces in May Dew preferable from the leaves of Hawthorn. If not from beneath an oak tree, or from a new-made grave. The dew was said to improve their complexion. It was also used for medical conditions such as gout and weak eyes. Thinking of one’s lover on May Day might bring marriage within the year.

May morning would commence with dancing around the Maypole, followed by feasting, and summer games. for more about Maypoles and May Day see my post may-2nd-this-stinking-idol-the-end-of-may-day/

Belenus is a Celtic God of whom very little is clear and unambiguous. He was linked in Gaul with Apollo. The name, some people think, comes from ‘Shining’ but others disagree and think it means ‘Master of Power.’ His association with Irish mythology and the festival of Beltane suggests he was a powerful god in Celtic Europe. Geoffrey of Monmouth has a King called Belinus, and spins a yarn about Belinus and Billingsgate. Linguists prefer the idea that Billingsgate is named after some unknown Saxon called Billings. This may be a little more likely but far less interesting.

See my post on Midsummer for more on Celtic Festivals.

On This Day

1707 The Union of Scotland and England Proclaimed

1945 German Fascist Goebbels kills himself and his entire family

Revised May 1st 2024 and 2025

Walpurgis Nacht & St Erconwald’s Day April 30th

Walpurgis Nacht. Screen Shot of https://astromagicklounge.com/2021/04/30/celebrating-walpurgis-night-with-black-sabbath-aleister-crowley/

On April 30th, 870AD, St. Walpurga remains were ‘translated’ to Eichstätt. St Willibald had set up the town as the Diocesan centre of this part of Bavaria. So, in Germany today is known as Walpurgis Nacht. I wrote more on my page on St. Walpurga. Walpurga and her two brothers, Willibald and Winibald were Anglo-Saxon Saints who helped convert Germany to Christianity in the 8th Century.

The evening of April 30th is also the beginning of Beltane. Beltane is one of the principal Celtic Festivals, dedicated to the God Belinus. It is a Celtic Fire Ceremony, 6 months before Halloween, and the traditional beginning of Summer. (see my post of Halloween here.) Walpurgis Nacht is also halfway between the Spring equinox and the Summer solstice. So, a very important day in the Celtic Calendar. (see my post on May Day).

The Celtic Day began at Dusk, so May Day begins on 30th April. The Christian Church took over many local traditions and adapted them to the calendar of the Church. So a Saint’s Day, is preceded by an Eve. For example, All Hallows’ Day and Halloween, and May Day and May Eve.

In Sweden it is known as Valborg and as Čarodejnice in the Czech Republic.

A day of Uncanny Weirdness?

As May Day was an uncanny period dedicated to Pagan Deities, Walpurgis Nacht became a time when all the weird things are alive in the world. In response, the Christian Church associated a saint to the day to be a focus for defeating witchcraft. So, it is a popular tradition for this Night to see the burning of an effigy of a witch on a bonfire.

Walpurgis Nacht has really been taken over by Heavy Metal, and I refer you this page to begin your journey down a dark rabbit hole of head-banging rock. https://astromagicklounge.com/2021/04/30/celebrating-walpurgis-night-with-black-sabbath-aleister-crowley/

St Erconwald’s Day

Tomb of St Erconwald, destroyed by the Great Fire of London.
Tomb of St Erconwald, destroyed by the Great Fire of London. By Wenceslaus Hollar – Artwork from University of Toronto Wenceslaus Hollar Digital CollectionScanned by University of TorontoHigh-resolution version extracted using custom tool by User:Dcoetzee, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6235771

It is also the Feast Day of St Erconwald. He was a Royal Prince who became one of the most famous Bishops of London (675 and 693). He set up Chertsey Abbey and Barking Abbey which his sister, St Ethelburga, became Abbess of. Not only that, but he was known as the light of London and was responsible for rebuilding St Pauls Cathedral. And helping completing the conversion of the Kingdom of Essex.

You might enjoy reading this alliterative poem of the 14th Century about his life. He is one of the patron saints of London, associated with early pilgrimage and many miracles.

First Published in 2024, revised in April 2025

St Mellitus Day And the Birth of the Chocolate Digestive April 24th

St Mellitus (Source: from saint-mellitus-of-canterbury-died-624

St Mellitus was the first Bishop of London (AD604) and the third Archbishop of Canterbury. But was he really? No, he was the first Bishop of London of the English Church. There were many before him. We know there were bishops of London from Britannia during the Roman period. And, according to John Stow, London’s first history. there were also post-Roman bishops. That line of Bishops ended, in 584 AD, when the 14th Bishop, Theanus, fled London. He headed for Wales to escape the Anglo-Saxon threat. However, even Stow was uncertain whether the list was genuine.

I tell this story in my post on St Lucius.

The Synod of Arles

In 314 a Church Council or Synod was called at Arles, in France. Amongst those attending were three bishops from Britain, (and a Deacon and a presbyter) :

  • Eborius “de civitate Eboracensi” – from the city of Eboracum (York);
  • Restitutus “de civitate Londenensi” – from the city of Londinium (London);
  • Adelfius “de civitate Colonia Londenensium” – that is, from the “colonia of the people of London”.

(Wikipedia)

The fact that two came from London suggests to some a mistake. Adelfus, perhaps, was either from Lincoln or Colchester which were Colonies. The Synod was called by the Emperor Constantine. Amongst its acts were to order that Easter should be held at the same time throughout the Empire. (See also my post on the Synod of Whitby which fixed the date of Easter in Britain as late as 684). They also banned Races, and Games. and excommunicated all actors and charioteers. (Synod_of_Arles). But it gives us our first certain facts about the origins of Christianity in Britain.

The Augustinian Mission and Mellitus

St Mellitus Burial Place, St Augustine’s Abbey, Canterbury. Photo K. Flude

In 597, the Augustinian Mission came to Kent. Mellitus was sent by Pope Gregory to join St Augustine’s mission in 601AD,. He was then sent to London to set up St Pauls and become its bishop (604). But he was kicked out in 618AD when King Sæberht of Essex died and was replaced by a pagan son. Mellitus went into exile in Gaul but came back to become the third Archbishop of Canterbury. He was buried in St Augustine’s Abbey in Canterbury. He is known as St Mellitus of Canterbury. London reverted to paganism until 654AD when St Cedd became its next Bishop.

I tell the story of the Augustinian misson in my post here

St Mellitus had gout so is the go-to Saint for sufferers of gout.

Also on this day

1925 – McVitie’s Chocolate Digestive was created. There were made in Stockport and in Harlesden, London. I have moored my narrowboat outside the factory and been kept awake by the churning of chocolate in vast vats. Or so I imagine. News stories suggest that the Digestive was meant to be eaten with the chocolate on the bottom side. This is one of the most ridiculous things I have heard! But you can read this page for the facts. And this one for more on the history of the Chocolate Digestive.

First published in April 2025

Anglo-Saxon Easter

Lullingstone Mosaic representing Spring
Easter – Lullingstone Roman Mosaic representing Spring

Easter is a Germanic name, and, the only evidence for its derivation comes from the Venerable Bede. He was the first English Historian and a notable scholar. He says the pagan name for April was derived from the Goddess Eostra. The German name for Easter is Ostern probably with a similar derivation. But this is all the evidence there is for the Goddess, despite many claims for the deep history of Easter traditions.

Easter, Estry and Canterbury

Philip A. Shaw has proposed that the name of Eastry in Kent might derive from a local goddess, called Eostra. The influence of Canterbury in the early Church in England and Germany led to the adoption of this local cult name in these two countries. Otherwise, the name for Easter in Europe derives from Pascha which comes from the Hebrew Passover and Latin. In French it’s Pâques, in Italian Pasqua, Spanish Pascua; Dutch Pasen, Swedish Påsk; Norwegian Påske and so on.

The Church’s Choice for the Date of Easter

The timing of Easter is the first full moon after the Spring Equinox. I have already explained that Spring was the time the Church set for the Creation, the Crucifixion and other key points in the Christian Calendar. See my post the-beginning-of-the-universe-as-we-know-it-birthday-of-adam-lilith-eve-conception-of-jesus-start-of-the-year.

Eleanor Parker in her lovely book ‘Winter in the World’ gives a lyrical insight into how the dates were chosen. They held the belief that God would only choose the perfect time for the Creation and the events of Easter. The Creation began with the birth of the Sun and the Moon. So it was fixed to the Equinox, when the days were of equal length, and the fruits of the earth were stirring into life. But Holy Week also needed to be in harmony with the Moon. Therefore it was tied, like Passover, to the first full moon after the Equinox, which is also when the events take place in the Gospels.

The quotations Parker uses from early English religious writing and poetry shows a profound interest in nature and the universe. It is a very appealing viewpoint. It seems to me that this is something the Church, lost in later times, and replaced with fixation with dogma and ‘worship’ of the Holy Trinity.

At the time, fixing the date of Easter was very controversial as the Celtic Church in Britain had a different calendar to the Roman Catholic Church. Easter fell on a different day. The King of Northumberland, for example, celebrated Easter on a different day to that of his wife. Oswiu was exiled to Ireland where he was influenced by Celtic Christianity. His wife, Eanflæd, from Northumberland, had been baptised by the Roman Catholic missionary, Paulinus.

Easter and the Synod of Whitby

Oswiu, became King of Northumberland and ‘Bretwalda’ (ruler of all Britain), and encouraged a reconciliation. This culminated at the Synod of Whitby (664AD), between the two churches. The Celtic Church finally agreed to follow the Catholic calendar and other controversial customs. The Abbess at Whitby during the Synod was Hilda of Whitby. The Celtic position was defended by Bishop Colmán and the Roman position by St Wilfred. Bishop Colmán resigned his position as Bishop of Lindisfarne, returned to Iona and then set up a monastery back in Ireland. Wilfrid studied at Lindisfarne, Canterbury, France and Roman. After her husband’s death, Queen Eanflaed became Abbess of Whitby,

The antagonism between the two churches went back to the time of St Augustine in the early 7th Century. In a meeting between St Augustine and Celtic churchmen, St Augustine was judged to have been arrogant, unwilling to listen. So agreement was not reached. Some time afterwards the Anglo-Saxons attacked the Celts at the Battle of Chester in which hundreds of monks from the Abbey at Bangor were slaughtered.

Days off at Easter & Rituals

King Alfred’s law code gave labourers the week before and after Easter off work, making it the main holiday of the year. Ælfric of Eynsham gives a powerful commentary on the rituals of the Church over Easter. They were full of drama and participation, including Palm leaf processions on Palm Sunday, feet washing and giving offerings to the poor on Maundy Thursday. Then followed three ‘silent days’ with no preaching but rituals and services aiming to encourage empathy for the ordeal of Jesus. This included the nighttime service of Tenebrae. All lights were extinguished in the Church while the choir sang ‘Lord Have Mercy’. The darkness represented the despair that covered the world after Jesus’ death. Good Friday was the day for the adoration of the Cross in which a Cross would be decorated with treasures and symbolised turning a disaster into a triumph.

It seemed to me that I saw a wondrous tree
Lifted up into the air, wrapped in light,
brightest of beams. All that beacon was
covered with gold; gems stood
beautiful at the surface of the earth,….

The Dream of the Rood quoted in Eleanor Parker’s ‘Winter in the World’

The Harrowing of Hell

The days before Easter Sunday are known as the ‘Harrowing of Hell’. This was a very popular theme in the medieval period (featuring in Piers Plowman for example). Jesus went down to hell to free those, like John the Baptist, who had been trapped because the world had no saviour until the first Easter. The name ‘Harrowing’ comes from ‘Old English word hergian ‘to harry, pillage, plunder’ which underpins the way the event is depicted as a military raid on Hell. The ‘Clerk of Oxford’ Blog provides more information on the Harrowing of Hell on this page,

The Clerk of Oxford Blog is written by Eleanor Parker. She started in 2008, whilst an undergraduate student at Oxford. The blog won the 2015 Longman-History Today award for Digital History‘.

The above is but a very poor précis of Eleanor Parker’s use of Anglo-saxon poetry and literature to bring Easter to life. So if you are interested to know more or would like to have a different viewpoint on the Anglo-Saxons please get a copy of her book.

First Published in 2023 and republished in 2025

St Beuno and a Poem to the Vagina April 20th


Drawing of a Stained glass window depicting Saint Beuno. D A R C 12345 – Own work

Today is St Beuno’s Day. St Beuno is also known as St Bono. He was an 8th Century Welsh Abbot of some power. The grandson of a prince of Powys in Wales who was descended from Vortigern. (see my post on Vortigern here.) Vortigern was a predecessor to King Arthur. Beuno was educated in Bangor Monastery, one of the foremost Celtic monasteries in Wales. During his ministry he restored 7 dead people to life including St Winifred (or Winefred).

Winifred & St Beuno

St Winifred’s Holywell, from Facebook.

She was Beuno’s niece, a virgin who refused the advances of a certain Caradog. Furious at her taking vows, Caradog tried to seduce her, but she refused. So, he chopped her head off.

Where her head landed a spring sprung amd became a holy spring.  The spot, in Flintshire is still called Holywell. It has been described as the Lourdes of Wales and one of my tours go past it that is how I heard about St Beuno.

Anyway the story goes that Beuno put his niece’s head back on her shoulders and restored her to life. How he did that, is a mystery.

From Facebook

She lived a full life with a brilliant Church career. Of course she is the patron of those who have suffered unwanted advances (but believe me there are many other candidates for that particular honour amongst the female Saints! Have a look at my post on St Agatha for another example of male sexual abuse.

Stained glass depiction of St Winifred, designed by William Burges, at Castell Coch, Cardiff. Wikipedia Hchc2009 – Own work

More on St Winefride’s on her feast day on 3rd November.

Medieval Powys, & Neglected Parts of the Female Anatomy

I drafted this in January, when I came across a reference to St Beuno in a fabulous exhibition at the British Library.  The show was called ‘Medieval Women – In their own Words’.

On display amongst the many wonderful manuscripts and books of the 11th – 15th Century was a Welsh poem.  The author was Gwerful Mechain (1460–1502), the only female medieval Welsh poet with a surviving and a substantial body of work. She is known for her erotic poetry, in which she praised the vulva among other things.

What is extraordinary is that I should, by complete chance, be publishing this the day after posting about the statue of the erect Minotaur! So, you can see how even-handed I am?

Here it is in full, in a modern translation:

To the Vagina by Gwerful Mechain

Every poet, drunken fool
Thinks he’s just the king of cool,
(Every one is such a boor,
He makes me sick, I’m so demure),
He always declaims fruitless praise
Of all the girls in his male gaze.
He’s at it all day long, by God,
Omitting the best bit, silly sod:
He praises the hair, gown of fine love,
And all the girl’s bits up above,
Even lower down he praises merrily
The eyes which glance so sexily;
Daring more, he extols the lovely shape
Of the soft breasts which leave him all agape,
And the beauty’s arms, bright drape,
Even her perfect hands do not escape.
Then with his finest magic
Before night falls, it’s tragic,
He pays homage to God’s might,
An empty eulogy: it’s not quite right:
For he’s left the girl’s middle unpraised,
That place where children are upraised,
The warm bright quim he does not sing,
That tender, plump, pulsating broken ring,
That’s the place I love, the place I bless,
The hidden quim below the dress.
You female body, you’re strong and fair,
A faultless, fleshy court plumed with hair.
I proclaim that the quim is fine,
Circle of broad-edged lips divine,
It’s a valley, longer than a spoon or hand,
A cwm to hold a penis strong and grand;
A vagina there by the swelling bum,
Two lines of red to song must come.
And the churchmen all, the radiant saints,
When they get the chance, have no restraints,
They never fail their chance to steal,
By Saint Beuno, to give it a good feel.
So I hope you feel well and truly told off,
All you proud male poets, you dare not scoff,
Let songs to the quim grow and thrive
Find their due reward and survive.
For it is silky soft, the sultan of an ode,
A little seam, a curtain on a hole bestowed,
Neat flaps in a place of meeting,
The sour grove, circle of greeting,
Superb forest, faultless gift to squeeze,
Fur for a fine pair of balls, tender frieze,
A girl’s thick glade, it is full of love,
Lovely bush, blessed be it by God above.

From: Gramich, Katie, Orality and Morality: Early Welsh Women’s Poetry, 2005, Cardiff University: Cardiff, pp. 8-9.
(http://www2.lingue.unibo.it/acume/acumedvd/Essays%20ACUME/AcumeGramichfinal.pdf)

Date: c1480 (original in Welsh); 2003 (translation in English) By: Gwerful Mechain (1462-1500) Translated by: Katie Gramich

For more about St Beuno https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beuno

First published on April 20th 2025

Yew Sunday Palm Sunday April 13th

Palm Sunday Giotto. Entry into Jerusalem from the Cappella degli Scrovegni in Padova (sent to me by Lucia Granatella)

Yew Sunday (Domhnach an Iúir in Irish) is the medieval name for Palm Sunday – this is the day that Jesus entered Jerusalem in triumph on a donkey, with palm leaves being laid in front of him. It has always been very curious to me this so-short-lived triumph preceding such heavy and heart breaking tragedy. It is the Sunday before the Betrayal, which leads to the Crucifixion on Good Friday and the Resurrection on Sunday. A busy week for the Church.

Palm Sunday can be celebrated by making crosses out of palms, or with processions bearing palm branches or eating special cakes (there is always room in any ritual for cakes). But in the North where do you get your Palms from? So, it was often substituted by Box, or Olive or Willow and particularly, in Britain and Ireland, by Yew. Yew is evergreen and is so long lived as to be a symbol of everlasting life (I wrote more about the Yew here).

Giotto Bondone was a Florentine painter of the 14th Century of whom Giorgio Vasari, in his essential guide to the artists of the Renaissance, ‘The Lives of the Artists‘ said of the 10 year old:

One day Cimabue, going on business from Florence to Vespignano, found Giotto, while his sheep were feeding, drawing a sheep from nature upon a smooth and solid rock with a pointed stone, having never learnt from any one but nature. Cimabue, marvelling at him, stopped and asked him if he would go and be with him. And the boy answered that if his father were content he would gladly go. Then Cimabue asked Bondone for him, and he gave him up to him, and was content that he should take him to Florence.

There in a little time, by the aid of nature and the teaching of Cimabue, the boy not only equalled his master, but freed himself from the rude manner of the Greeks, and brought back to life the true art of painting, introducing the drawing from nature of living persons, which had not been practised for two hundred years; or at least if some had tried it, they had not succeeded very happily.

Written in 1550.

If you look at the painting, you will see, even more than his contemporary Duccio, the faces of the people are rounded and, and at least somewhat, individual. The crowd scene, particularly, to the right, has some depth and the people further away seem to recede from the viewer, rather than, as they often do in Byzantine style paintings, either float or seem to stand on or support themselves on each other’s shoulders. The Gate into Jerusalem has been rendered by someone who has seen something that he believes has the key to realistic scenes. One day it will be rediscovered, and named single-point perspective. Yes, Giotto doesn’t know the secret but he is working to find out what the trick is. The people in the trees are also in the distance. These are the giant strides that Vasari is referring to in the quotation above. Realistic people, in spaces with depth. The donkey is quite sweet too! Cimabue was particularly good at painting Crucifix scenes.

The Cappella degli Scrovegni in Padova is a World Heritage Site and Giotto and his team covered all the walls and ceiling with frescos, depicting the Life of Jesus, the Life of Mary, and the Last Judgement.

Giotto, The Last Judgement. Cappella degli Scrovegni, In Padova. Wikipedia

Here is a real Digital Heritage treat – a 360 Degree tour of the Chapel! Follow the link below. If it seems to be taking a long time to load there is an information button which, once pressed will allow the panorama to load immediately.

https://www.haltadefinizione.com/en/image-bank/giotto-di-bondone-scrovegni-chapel-360-view/

First Published in 2024, revised in 2025

Vortigern April 2nd 1796

Bill for the 1796 play Vortigern and Rowena Public Domain Wikipedia

Vortigern was chosen as leader of Britannia immediately after the Romans withdrew in the early 5th Century AD. His name means Great Leader in Brittonic. He is one of the few leaders we know to be a real person in what used to be called the Dark Ages. We accept him as real, as he appears in the near contemporary source by the Monk Gildas.

However, very little is known of him except legends. He was associated with Merlin. Legend accuses him of betraying the British for the lust for Rowena. She was the daughter of the Saxon Leader Hengist. Whatever the truth of this, he continued the late Roman policy of hiring Germanic mercenaries. They were used to defend against the many barbarian threats to the Empire. The threats to Britain including the Picts, the Irish, and, of course the Saxons. The legends say that Hengist and Horsa were hired with their three ‘keels’ of Saxon mercenaries. In payment for services rendered, or for lust, Vortigern surrendered the sovereignty of Kent to the Saxons. Thus began the so-called ‘Adventus Saxonum’, and the destruction of the power of the Britons.

Kent and the Survival of pre-Saxon names

Medieval portrait of Vortigern

How much of this is ‘true’ we have no idea. But the name of Kent survives from the prehistoric, into the Roman. And unlike most tribal names survives to the modern day. This is probably because it was the first Roman Civitas to be taken over by the Saxons. Most likely still largely a working political unit. So it kept its name. The other Roman political units mostly lost their names in the anarchy of this period. Who now has heard of the Trinovantes, the Catuvellauni, or the Atrebates? The political boundaries from the Prehistoric period survived through the Roman period. But mostly did not survive the fall of Rome.

For more legends of this period look at my post

Vortigern & Rowena the Play

In 1796, a great cast at the Drury Lane Theatre, owned and managed by Sheridan, put on a newly discovered play by William Shakespeare. The cast included Kemble, Barrymore, and Mrs Jordan who was the mistress of Prince William (aka William III). Rumours swirled around about the authenticity of the play. Shakespeare was interested in Britain’s legendary history having written Cymberline and King Lear. But critics thought it was too simple to be genuine. Eventually, William Henry Ireland admitted he was the author.

‘A London Year’ by Travis Elborough and Nick Rennison has a great quote from a visit to the play. It took place on April 2nd 1796 and is recorded in Joseph Farington’s diary. Compare this description to your last polite experience at the Theatre.

Shakespeare’s forgery staged

Island’s play of Vortigern, I went to. Prologue, spoken in 35 minutes past six, play over at 10. A strong party was evidently made to support it, which clapped without opposition frequently through near three acts. When some ridiculous passages caused a laugh, which infected the house during the remainder of the performance, mixed with groans. Kemble requested the audience to hear the play out about the end of the fourth act, and prevailed. The epilogue was spoken by Mrs. Jordan, who skipped over some lines which claimed the play as Shakespeare’s

Barrymore attempted to give the play out for Monday next, but was hooted off the stage. Kemble then came on. And after some time, was permitted to say that ‘School for Scandal’ would be given, which the house approved by clapping.

Sturt of Dorsetshire was a Stage Box drunk and exposed himself indecently to support the play. And when one of the stage attendants attempted to take up the green cloth, Sturt seized him roughly by the head. He was slightly pelted with oranges. Ireland, his wife, a son and a daughter and two others were in the centre box at the head of the Pitt. Ireland occasionally clapped. But towards the end of the fourth act, he came into the front row and for a little time, leaned his head on his arm. And then went out of the box and behind the scenes. The Playhouse contained an audience that amounted to £800 pounds.

April 2nd 1796 from Joseph Farington’s Diary, (I have changed some of the punctuation.)

On This Day

Today is St. Urban of Langres Day.

He is the patron of Langres; Dijon; vine-growers, vine-dressers, gardeners, vintners, and coopers. And invoked against blight, frost, storms, alcoholism, and faintness. (www.catholic.org/saints/) But is also called upon to make maid’s hair long and golden.

On the feast of St Urban, (forsooth) maids hang up some of their hair before the image of St Urban, because they would have the rest of their hair grow long and golden.

Reginald Scott, the Discovery of Witchcraft, 1584. (Thanks to the Perpetual Almanac by Charles Kightly.) For more on Reginald Scott and Witches see my post.

1744 – First Golf Tournament. No, not at St Andrews but at Leith Links, Edinburgh.

First Published, 2nd April 2025

April Fools Day April 1st

The Famous Spaghetti Tree April Fool’s Joke (from facebook)

April Fools Day and Spaghetti Growing on Trees

I nearly always forget to honour April Fool’s Day (or April Fish Day as the French call it). But in Britain, somewhere in our newspaper or TV station there is a April Fools Joke slipped in. The most remembered is the BBC piece showing film of Italian Farmers picking spaghetti from trees.

First Reference to April Fools Day

The first unambiguous British reference to April Fools Day is by diarist John Aubrey’s “Fooles holy day” in 1686 – although he might have been referring to Germany.

We observe it on ye first of April… And so it is kept in Germany everywhere.’

For more details read hoaxes.org.

Chaucer and April Fools Day

But there is a possible earlier reference in Chaucer in the Nun’s Priest’s Tale.   This I find quite compelling but most Chaucer scholars don’t. This is the text:

When that the monthe in which the world bigan
That highte March, whan God first maked man,
Was complet, and passed were also
Syn March bigan thritty dayes and two

So, if you have been keeping up with me, you will know that the first lines are referring to March 25th, (when the world began see my post here) when God made Adam and Eve, and when the Church started the New Year and the year number moved one on. This was a major Church festival, usually followed by a week of holiness. The Roman New Year, January 1st, ended with a light-hearted festival called Saturnalia, and it is suggested that April 1st was, similarly, a day of release after the festival of the official Church ceremony of the New Year.

Chaucer’s last line says ‘Since March began thirty-two days have passed.’ A foolish person would not realise this is a reference to April 1st. Hence, this suggests a Fool’s Day already existed. Some scholars think that Chaucer was referring to May 2nd, counting the 32 days not from the beginning of March but from the end of March. I think they look at the second and third lines which read ‘That high March…. was complete’ and so add the 32 days to the end of March. Foolish in my opinion and not reading what actually Chaucer wrote which is ‘Since March began….

April Fools Day in Recent Years

I have had a quick look at the Guardian for their 2025 April Fools Day Story and I think it is this one:

Guardian April Fools Day Joke article or the world gone mad?

£4,440 for a Coffee cup shaped handbag?

In 2023, Harry and Megan proved irresistible and the Guardian reported that:

The Sun published a piece announcing the launch of Prince Harry and Meghan’s new video game “Megxit: Call of Duke-y” in which the royal couple try to reach California while dodging obstacles, including rival royals and the media, along the way.

In 2024, there was an equivalent story (from the Guardian’s quiz on April Fool’s jokes:

Meghan Markle was criticised after it was revealed that when you put her lifestyle brand name – American Riviera Orchard – into the What3words location service, it points to a statue of Oliver Cromwell, who famously had a King Charles executed

Hunting the Gowk

Generally, in Britain, we play a prank and say ‘April Fool’ with great delight. But we are not allowed to continue beyond midday. The Scots used to call it ‘Hunting the Gowk’ and the main prank was to give someone a letter to deliver, and the person who opened the letter would read:

Dinna laugh, dinna smile. Hunt the gowk another mile” and send the fool onto another leg of his or her’s fool’s errand. In Ireland the letter would read ‘send the fool further’.

First published March 25th 4004 BC and republished yearly on every April Fool’s Day.

Section on the meaning of April moved to my post April on April 7th