St Totteringham’s Day? 28th April

I newspaper heading

Today, might be St Totteringham’s Day.  The mythical Saint, born in North London in the Noughties, has a variable feast day, but normally, in March or April. Sometimes, there is no feast day for the Saint.

My own hope is that a miracle will take place this year and St Totteringham is denied his customary outing.  But it looks unlikely; the best I can hope for is that it is postponed for a few days.

Scholars find that the best predictor of the Saint’s Day is not the Moon but the results of Premier league results for arch North London rival football teams, Tottenham Hotspur (Spurs) and Arsenal (the Gunners). 

So, St Totteringham’s Day is the day that Arsenal are so far ahead of Spurs in the Premier League Table that Spurs cannot possibly overtake them.  Today, Spurs are playing Arsenal and if Arsenal win, they will declare the celebrations of the North London’s Saint can begin.

Fingers crossed that it doesn’t happen.

Another neologism from North London is to be ‘Spursy’. defines it as: (and it breaks my heart to tell you this).

‘The more modern meaning is to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory or to fall short with the prize in sight. This is because, over time, the club’s lack of silverware has come to influence the meaning of “Spursy.” That original 2014 entry reads: “To consistently and inevitably fail to live up to expectations.’

Next year, it will be different.

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